Reflections 2022: The Year That Was

So, another adventurous year comes to pass. 2022. I say “adventurous” because that’s what it was for me. Not much of what I had planned for the year ACTUALLY happened. Yet, all that DID happen was so much better, AND MORE IMPORTANT, than what I had originally planned.

Don’t want to go into the details, but the one MAIN thing that I DO want to record here—which was the highlight of the year for me—was that I finally started focusing on myself too. That, you could say, was the central theme of the year for me. If I were to describe MY 2022 in one word, that would be it – SELF.

2022 In A Nutshell for Me

Up until very recently, I had always been more of an “Others’ Oriented” person. I would make decisions based on what would be right for others, instead of me. I would think about others’ happiness and completely overlook mine. I never even bothered to think about what I liked, enjoyed doing, or wanted in life.

Remember Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride (1999), who had no clue about what kind of eggs she liked? Yupp. You get the picture.

But this last year was a major shift for me in this aspect of my personality. Let me sum up the key points below. These are more for my own future reference, so just jotting them down quickly in points…

Self-belief

I seemed to have acquired a lot of nonsensical beliefs about my identity, my capabilities, my so-called responsibilities (“shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”, “musts” and “mustn’ts”). Did a major mental “Diwali ki safai” (“Spring cleaning”, for the non-Indians reading this post!), in terms of my…

• Self-identity – who I am, my values, my goals and aspirations, my competencies…
• Self-talk – whether it is critical or appreciative, who all are controlling my mental narratives…
• Self-awareness – of MY needs, thoughts and feelings at any given point of time…
• Self-acceptance – of my dreams and desires, my feelings, my uniqueness, my strengths and even my weaknesses, without being judgemental…

Self-respect

Previously, I was allowing people to do anything or say anything to me, simply because they were “close” to me. But “love and connection” is no longer more important to me than “respect”, and this shift has enabled me to develop, AND enforce, strong healthy boundaries in my relationships (even if at the cost of some of those relationships), in the way of…

• Self-preservation – I now CHOOSE what I let into my mind, especially the criticism directed at me, and the "belittlement" masked as "joke"…
• Self-conservation – my time is precious, so are my dreams and needs, hence ‘NO’ to others' drama!
• Self-appreciation – no more self-deprecating humor guised as my ‘super powers’, now I genuinely know what is good about me!
• Self-motivation – knowledge of what I want, what is important to me, and what are my abilities… now leaves no space for any kind of self-sabotage.

Self-esteem

Earlier, I had allowed other people’s narratives about me to shape my self-esteem. Because I used to “buy into” whatever they said. Because I gave THEM more importance than myself. But now I have started SEEING myself too, as an equal, and have finally started getting a true measure of my own value, which is reflected in my…

• Self-confidence – having made these two DETAILED lists of my past achievements and my skills helped majorly!
• Self-development – even at this age, I’m constantly challenging myself, stretching my wings, learning SO FAST…
• Self-expression – asserting myself, instead of bottling up my thoughts and ideas and feelings, even if the other person is hell bent on hammering his/her own narrative into me.
• Self-worth – a lot of what I previously believed I DON’T deserve, no longer makes any sense…

Self-love

Being able to look at myself with the same joy and wonder that I see others with, being able to go all out to nurture myself, ALL aspects of myself, the way I have always stood strong for my loved ones… this is the part that is, at the time of writing this post, very much in “conscious competence” for me, but at least I have started making progress in it, including…

• Self-forgiveness – showing myself the same compassion and kindness when I make mistakes…
• Self-trust – having unconditional faith in my dreams, abilities, feelings, and my inner knowing…
• Self-care – pampering myself, making time for quality sleep, exercise, food, and my hobbies, wearing clothes I like, having fun…
• Self-gratitude – celebrating myself each day, deliberate mindful indulgence in things I enjoy…

While all this was not a conscious part of my plans for 2022, now, when I look back, I realize that these internal resources would be vital for me STICKING to the plans that I DID make, and would also propel me to move towards them with full confidence and conviction in myself.

2022 has been an “unexpected” year, in a good way.

I got to meet ME.

I wish the same for you too, for this new year…

Here's more in MySunnyVibes...

Let me know you visited me. Leave a comment!